Attracting your life long friends

We all crave deep, long lasting friendships.

We all desire to have that friend that you can pick up the phone and call after 2 years and pick up right where you left off. The friend that you don’t have to hide any thing from and can truly be who you are when you’re together.

I think we each hope to have that in our spouse. If you aren’t married yet, you have probably seen girls or guys post “He is my best friend!”.

I pray that is exactly what you say about your spouse, and also find that true best friend outside of your marriage or relationship. There is something so so special about your best girlfriends. They can truly be one of your greatest friends and have your spouse as your best friend. Still, the relationships are very different.

Each person pushes you and challenges you in different ways. You get to be vulnerable with both people but each one gets to see your heart through a different window.

My point is, you can have more than one best friend. Whether that be two good girlfriends, a girlfriend, and your spouse, or all of the above.

I met one of my greatest friends on the first day of freshman year. We were in a homeschool co-op so there was probably 30 kids total, give or take. When I think back to that day I see the ‘old me’. I have said this before and I will say it again and again and again. From that day forward I became a better person because of her influence and friendship to me!

I am a better person because of my friends.

I pray you to have one of those girls in your life and if you don’t, you need to finish reading this post because that is what I am talking about today!

Each of my friends have really become some of the greatest joys in my life. My girlfriends were some of the first people I called and longed for comfort from after my brother died. I also longed for Ian’s, but I craved my girlfriends too. Like I said before, each person gets to see your heart but through different windows. Every relationship is different.

I read a post from someone from somewhere this morning, I can’t remember who or where, but I remember thinking “I respect her because she is being WHO she is. That is someone I would want to be friends with. Her values are similar to mine! I would like to get to know her better.” and so on.

You see, people are judging literally everything you do. In good and bad ways. I am sure you’ve heard the saying “whether you are being yourself or not, people are judging you so, you may as well just do what you want and be who you are!”

I can almost hear you people pleasers taking a deep breath in relief! I am sure a people pleaser, and it always brings me a sigh of relief when I hear that.

In everything you do, you are attracting and repelling people.

The HOW

Okay, so HOW do you get those really good friends in your life?

Be exactly who you are. Do some self–care and put time into things that you enjoy. Things that make you excited to get up in the morning. If you don’t have anything coming to mind then grab a pen and start writing down anything you can think of that you enjoy. Animals, being outdoors, creating, connecting, teaching…? You get the idea.

Narrow that list down to your top three favorite things to do. Start DOING those things.

You will naturally start being yourself and learning more about who you are. This is something that makes adulting a little more fun! People often refer to this as ‘knowing who you are’.

When you know who you are, you’re unstoppable. You can do anything you set your mind to. People are inspired by you. You make an impact wherever you go.

Connect with LOTS of people and look for the ones who are doing what they love. The people who are inspiring others and making an impact, even slightly. Who is inspiring you? Connect with them. Learn from them. It is likely they are like you too, having similar interests and values.

This takes time. Start doing something to make YOU the very best version of YOU, and the girls who are also doing the same will be attracted to you. Eventually, those friendships will be like iron sharpening iron. You’ll be inspired, encouraged after a short conversation or interaction with them. And vice versa, you’ll be inspiring and encouraging them. Each interaction you will both be building the other one up! THESE are the people who will be there for you in the valleys and cheering for you on the mountain tops.

Most of all, ask God to give you wisdom on friendships to pour into and the ones to kindly filter out of your life. Pray for The Lord to bring you your life long friends.

When you find them, pour into them and love on them. All relationships are 50/50. In turn, they will want to love and pour into you.

To my best friends- my life is richer, brighter and full of way more laughter because of you. Thank you for making me who I am today. I pray this inspires you and you know how much each of you means to me. I love you!